http://www.assistedfertilityblog.com/boston-globe-on-egg-donation/ Facts, insights and opinions about egg donors, surrogates, and intended parents. Fri, 14 May 2010 19:40:29 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 http://www.assistedfertilityblog.com/boston-globe-on-egg-donation/comment-page-1/#comment-38 ellen glazer Thu, 16 Apr 2009 22:00:51 +0000 http://www.assistedfertilityblog.com/?p=396#comment-38 For the folks that I see becoming parents through egg donation, the question isn't "should we tell" but "when, how and what should we say?" I tell them that I see their goal to be "I always knew"--that they should raise a child who can't remember a point of being "told" but rather, is someone who "always knew." "Always knowing" can be achieved in different ways. Most people I see prefer to being "sprinkling in" references to egg donation when they are talking to their very young child. For example, they might say, "Let's look at pictures of when I was pregnant with you. I was so excited and so happy that Jennifer helped us become a family." Others prefer to wait until their child is 5 or 6 and to try to explain to them, in language they can understand, about egg donation. When they are older, children told at this age tend to say "I always knew." The issue probably isn't whether you begin discussions at ages 2 or 3 or 5--it's that you do so with confidence and a feeling of pride in how you built your family. For the folks that I see becoming parents through egg donation, the question isn’t “should we tell” but “when, how and what should we say?” I tell them that I see their goal to be “I always knew”–that they should raise a child who can’t remember a point of being “told” but rather, is someone who “always knew.”
“Always knowing” can be achieved in different ways. Most people I see prefer to being “sprinkling in” references to egg donation when they are talking to their very young child. For example, they might say, “Let’s look at pictures of when I was pregnant with you. I was so excited and so happy that Jennifer helped us become a family.” Others prefer to wait until their child is 5 or 6 and to try to explain to them, in language they can understand, about egg donation. When they are older, children told at this age tend to say “I always knew.”
The issue probably isn’t whether you begin discussions at ages 2 or 3 or 5–it’s that you do so with confidence and a feeling of pride in how you built your family.

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